Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
