Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
