mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
