I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just cropdusted the office
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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