Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
