we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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