My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
