I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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