honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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