I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just googled if crying burns calories
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
