Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
