Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
