She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize