So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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