I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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