I wish I could teleport
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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