maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
please come you make the beer taste better
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
