Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's never too late to be topless.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
