I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
