Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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