ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
