Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
