guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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