It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
