his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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