ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
