Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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