if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
