taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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