if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
