That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
