I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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