Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Randomize
