Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
The air taste purple.
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