Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize