What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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