you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
