I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
