there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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