Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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