Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
