we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
