So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize