Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
