At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
