just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
