dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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