Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
