when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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