everyone is single if you try hard enough
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
