New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And then my night got REAL pukey
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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