I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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