why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize