wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
