On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Randomize
