super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
