So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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