Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Randomize
