Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
