why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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